me puse es tan verde

so now I have to look cute on tuesdays.  I think I can manage putting in effort one day a week.  

"O yea, my name is evan and my friends call me Nave. Do you know why?"

someone I’m disgustingly attracted to and I really don’t want to be

it smells like boy so much over here. and what’s weird is it smells like a particular boy; that smell of dial soap that indicates someone finally took a shower this morning.  

One guy pretended to choke me and it was fucking scary.  Another guy kind of did it and it and it was hottyhottymshotterson.  Hmm

I’m worried I got nick sick (heheheh rhymes).  If I did then he’ll never come over again because there’s no basis for our relationship other than sex and if I give him a phlegmy cough then that’ll be it.  I’d have to find someone else but I don’t want to I don’t want to.  

Well diary, it finally happened.  Third time is the fracking charm.  I think it’s because I see even his most innocent actions as these fucked up intentions full of malice and greed, actions which would make him a dick; I love dicks.  

but I guess it’s okay because nick’s coming over tomorrow. Death proof was pretty awesome; it made me want to wear lipstick and kill someone.  I don’t care if tarantino has a foot fetish, it’s endearing. He can totally lick the schmegma that I’ll let build up between my toes because I love him and want to make him happ.  not happy, happ.

I know I’m not superficial because I’m attracted to tarantino.  Take that mom. 

There was one guy who hated any kind of silence and during every pause in conversation just had to say “So…_________?” and follow it up with 3489 questions until the conversation stopped again.  I don’t know if he was nervous or couldn’t stand silence for longer than four seconds due to his rape goblin fear.  (I steal from patton oswalt, yep)