I had a crazy long dream even though I only slept four hours.  I had children who were way too close to my age, but I loved them so much and in the end one or some were killed with chainsaws and it was a bloody mess and I woke up so emotionally drained because of the tragedy and all of that fucking love I felt for these children of mine.  I almost feel like I was living a past life of a cult leader who was no part evil.  Maybe it was a past life.  Oh my god it was so fucking real dem emotions.  I’m so fucking exhausted.